9 to 5 Cafe Circa 2000

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In 2000 visitors to 9to5cafe.com, an online rest stop for office professionals, were promised protection from prying bosses, thanks to the site’s office-safe design.

What looked like an Excel spreadsheet becomes a skier game, a golf game or minesweeper. A fake desktop is transformed into a shooting gallery or becomes the setting for a space invaders game. And anywhere else on the site, hitting the panic button opens an innocent looking text page.

The site was divided into three sections: play, smile and relax sections, with everything from action games to brain-teasers.

Unfortunately the functionality of the site now longer works, so visitors are only left with an impression of what was once offered so long ago.

Content is from the site's 2000 archived pages.

IMPROVING PRODUCTIVITY IN THE WORKPLACE

 

By Dr Itza Lottabul

OVERVIEW

Productivity measurement studies (PMS) in modern computerised offices have resulted in significant reassessments of the respective roles of work and relaxation time in the workplace. Although many managers regard PMS as little more than a recurrent and unavoidable pain, they can result in radical re-evaluations of the value of non-work in a work environment.

Most workplaces make little allowance for “down time” or relaxation exercises for computer-operating workers. But employers are increasingly aware of the need for breaks and muscle relaxation exercises for health reasons.

This paper argues for the value in workplace situations of the playing of games, known in productivity studies as the Beneficial Outlet of Formatted Fun (BOFF). Repeated studies have shown that workers who BOFF regularly report a 17% rise in on-the-job satisfaction. Furthermore, co-workers who BOFF together report an incredible 41% drop in stress levels and a 28% increase in communication./p>

Most workers are used to BOFFing in their spare time, but studies indicate that many would like to BOFF in the office, often with a work colleague. Although most workers are aware that some of their colleagues are solo BOFFers, the office offers unprecedented opportunities for group BOFFs involving two or more co-workers. Such tactics may be regarded by some managers as morally lax or an inappropriate use of office time, but Time & Motion studies are clear that workers returning to their work tasks after a good BOFF are more relaxed, happier and more productive than those who try to work without relaxation breaks.

WORK ETHICS

It is a fact little appreciated outside Productivity Measurement that only a fraction of the time employees spend in front of a computer can be classified as “work”.

In a typical office environment work tasks can be limited to the following elements of the typical working day:

• Answering the phone (4%)
• Writing letters (9%)
• Writing reports (25%)
• Making important decisions (1%)

By contrast, non-work tasks account for 61% of the working day. This divides up as follows:

• Alphabetising things (6%)
• Failing to find people you need to talk to (3%)
• Trying to fix printer (2%)
• Trying to fix photocopier (2%)
• Changing wallpaper on computer desktop (3%)
• Reading bulleted lists (5%)
• Comparing management requests to highlight contradictions (8%)
• Last night’s TV (9%)
• Wondering why Windows has crashed (3%)
• Misunderstanding simple requests (6%)
• Sorting teetering pile of memos into something approaching order (3%)
• Staring in horror at week-old memo requesting urgent action found at base of teetering pile of memos (5%)
• Wondering why percentage breakdowns don’t always add up to 100 (3%)

The rest of employees’ time is spent playing games. This provides an immediate benefit compared to other non-work activities. The first benefit is that workers playing games are not changing their wallpaper, discussing last night’s TV, misunderstanding elementary instructions, etc. which helps to foster the illusion that they may not be bored, unimaginative wastrels after all. Simultaneously, workers playing games are not spending their time trying to fix things or alphabetize them, both of which inevitably lead to more confusion and breakages.

GAMES AT WORK, NOT GAMES WITH WORK

Office workers have developed a number of defensive tactics and responses at work to cover the fact that they are not really working. Before computers, workers would cover their desk with letters, reports and random paperwork to give the illusion of activity. Since the virtual desktop has removed the space-filling activity of handwriting, workers have been forced to find more subtle means of disguising inactivity. These include:

• Printing out multiple copies of a report
• Amending one misplaced comma, then printing out a “revised version”
• Opening many documents and switching repeatedly between them
• Cutting and pasting things
• Setting document naming conventions that will be forgotten after a week
• Reading online documents that look like they might be work related

Beyond this, the knowledge that a certain task has to be completed during the day can, with careful time management, fill the day with pseudo-productive work. The morning can be spent fiddling on the principle that “I’ve got all day”. Before lunch an appropriately named document can be created so that there is something to point to if asked. In the afternoon a grudging attempt to tackle the task will be made, only to be interrupted by an emergency, leaving the task itself to be rushed off in the five minutes before leaving for home in the evening.

Such a work plan leaves the employee anxious and guilty, and the task inadequately completed. It is a far better solution to acknowledge that the worker will spend as little time as possible doing hard work, and allow them to positively structure their time accordingly. A worker can spend half an hour playing games, satisfying their desire to do something interesting, and spend the next 30 minutes performing the requested task (i.e. a 600% increase in work per hour).

Playing games at work brings a number of other benefits. The top reported benefits of workplace games players are:

• “Clears the mind.
• “Engages the brain”
• “Improves hand-eye co-ordination”.
• “Makes me feel happy”
• “Makes me think”
• “Helps problem-solving”
• “Allows me to return to my work refreshed and reinvigorated”
• “Makes my whites whiter than white”

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Reality: I love this site. It cracks me up. Too bad it's not functioning now. Nevertheless, I agree with the philosophy. Back in 2000 you might have been able to get away with playing a game or two on your computer during the work day, but in 2019 that's not possible in many companies. But we now have our personal mobile devices on which we can listen to music, check our mail, definitely play all sorts of games, and of course shop without using our computers at work. The other day I was doing a search for a trendy dog bed for a stylish dog. My girlfriend has a most extraordinary Tibetan Mastiff, she calls Tiny. The dog only weighs 120 pounds! And looks like a male lion with long fur and a large furry tail that curls up over its back when it walks. Well, I guess there is style and then there is STYLE. Tiny needs a huge bed, but my girl friend was sick and tired of typical dog beds. So here I was at work, but searching on my mobile when my boss walks by. Oops. Fortunately she is also a dog owner and when I owned up to what I was doing she was nice enough to tell me about an e commerce site where she bought her dog a gorgeous designer bed. GoodNightDog- cute name. She then admonished me to do the search during my lunch break which was in another hour. The outcome was I did order a dog bed from the site. They sell luxury round dog beds that in Tiny's case looked like a giant floor pillow. And the beds/pillows  are covered in really nice decorator fabric. My girlfriend loved the pillow, I mean dog bed, when it arrived. And so did Tiny.

I have noticed recently my boss strolling through the office where I work a bit more frequently. But I always make sure I am busy on my computer!

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BENEFITS FOR EMPLOYERS

It is well known that most workers would rather be doing anything than working. However, there’s plenty of stuff you don’t want them to be doing: scheming behind your back, criticising management decisions, conducting office romances, behaving like human beings, etc. Allowing your workers to play games on their office computers effectively keeps them at their desks and stops them from talking, eavesdropping, reprogramming office telephones, misfiling things, and a host of other productivity-damaging activities.

Many employers are finding that, since smoking is banned in offices, smoking employees are taking frequent cigarette breaks throughout the working day. These involve the worker leaving the office to smoke with colleagues. Who knows what they’re talking about? They’re probably discussing you, and thinking up new ways to make you look stupid. Isn’t it better to keep them at their desks?

The only way to do this is to offer workers something even more addictive than cigarettes. Unless you’re prepared to open up a Colombian branch of your company to ensure a ready supply of hard drugs for your employees, the most effective option is to allow them to play games in the office. Try giving your employees a regular ‘games break’ in the same way that you would allow them a regular cigarette break. Aside from anything else, they will feel so bewildered by your far-sighted progressive working practices that they will be guilt-tripped into doing some proper work for you.

Serious scientific studies have also indicated that the human mind needs many of the stimulus factors found in games:

• Regular changes of stimulus
• Play
• Stress relief procedures
• Aggression release
• Provocation to lateral thought

But nobody ever listens to serious scientific studies. So think of it this way:

They’re playing around anyway, so let them play constructively

Let people unwind: they’ll thank you for it

They’re wasting time when they’re playing games, so when they’re not playing games, they must be working

Happy workers do happy work

A stitch in time saves nine

Two stitches in time save eighteen

CONCLUSION

Employers want workers with the following characteristics:

• Intelligent
• Skilled
• Hard-working
• Aggressive
• Precise
• Creative
• Successful

Given that they’ll get none of these things in the real world, give them the next best thing: success in a game. You may have lost the last month’s accounts down the back of the filing cabinet, but if you hold the computer pinball record you’ll be a winner at something. Let’s face it, Human Resources are always being told to find what people are good at and get them to do it. The fact is, some of us are better at games than anything else. Be all that you can be. If that’s not much, don’t blame us.

Dr Itza Lottabul is Professor of PMS at Arooga University. His papers, ‘Playing for Productivity: A New Approach’ and ‘Playing for Productivity: An Old Approach’, have been widely recycled. Views expressed in this article are not necessarily those of the editors, or indeed the writer.

SURVEY: Survey group of 5,012 was ignored over a 5-day period. All answers were adjusted for what Dr Lottabul needed to show.

Statistical error: +/-2 inches.